Tuesday, February 21, 2006

$365 million

Yes. Someone in Nebraska won the lotto worth $365 million. They haven't come forth to claim the money yet. Can't blame 'em too much. I wouldn't do it right away if I won (which is statistically impossible since I don't play it). Nevertheless, it's always wise to be prepared so I have a plan in place as to what I would do if I won that kind of money.

Upon claiming the money, I would tell everyone the following: Yes, I will be giving vast amounts of money to charities and worthy causes. But if you ask me for it, it won't be you.

I would then proceed to my local BMW dealership and purchase two BMW M5s and two X5s, in cash. The M5's for my father in-law and me. The X5s for my wife and her mom.

Off to the Apple Store! High-end Powermacs and MacBook Pros for everyone! Don't forget those 30" cinema displays and extra software! Boo-ya!

I'd head over to the homes of my friends and family, drop off their new computers take them to their bank (driving exessively fast) and pay off whatever school and car debt they have. Then I'd put some money in their bank account (probably about $10,000 in spending money to start out with) and tell them to meet me for dinner at...uh... Olive Garden. Yeah. Olive Garden.

At "The Garden" I would take a page out of my father in-law's book and give the waitress $500 up front. Then say, "There are a few things I like when I eat at Olive Garden. I like warm breadsticks on the table at all times. I like my strawberry lemonaide pre-stirred and always full. And I would like more than two olives in my salad. Afterall, this is the Olive Garden."

I think I'd give every server in there a $1,000 tip.

That night everyone would stay in suites at the Grand America. I would then pay my bellhop to go to each of my guests rooms and tell them, "The hotel would be most honored if you would please steal the towels and bathrobes." I think that would be funny.

I'd hide $100 bills around my suite for the maids to find when they were cleaning.

After breakfast in bed we'd all fly to Hawaii first class (because I've always wanted to fly first class). No need to pack... we'll buy new clothes there.

Hawaii would be a lot of fun, and we'd all do the fun stuff I've never done before like jet ski, swim with dolphins, parasailing, surf lessons, SCUBA, etc.

After a week or so in Maui we'd come back, tan and happy. I think I'd go back to work and set up college funds for all the kids of the employees. Laptops for everyone so they could use them at work and at home.

Oh yeah. And I'd buy a bulldog.

After work I'd take another week or two off and go look for a house with my wife. I think we'd probably get one in the Avenues and pay for it in cash. Then while I'm at work she could work with an interior decorator and deck the place out however she wants.

Basic things I'd do for friends and family:

• Establish retirement funds
• Give cool, good cars that are expected to last
• Pay off houses
• Cover any and all schooling
• Provide a living stipend as long as they had full-time jobs

Some specific things I'd do for specific people...

Ryan: pay for his tuition, room, board and supplies for Art Center.

Rob: pay off tuition through his PhD, sponsor any research he wants to do and maybe buy him a nice pair of binoculars and some quality hip waders.

Neil: buy some of his stuff and pay off his medical bills. Get that back of his fixed for good.

Jeffy: pay for tuition, room, board and books. And a new boot knife.

Alysia/Clayton: a cabin up at Brighton.

Brad: startup money for his new business.

Heidi: transportation home from school as often as she wanted.

Parents: send dad on a golfing trip to Pebble Beach and give mom as much money as she wants to decorate/revamp the house while he's gone. I'd also buy dad a new 7-series and mom a Prius and a XKE.

Bowman: let him pick out skis of his choice and do a heli-drop onto whatever mountain peak he wants. Repeat as desired.

Mike G: I'd cover all expenses related to your adventure up to Portland.

Mike T: I would most definitely replace your car. And the iPod. And the cameras.

More to come!