Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Seriously, I had this same idea. Kind of.

OK, so it wasn't exactly the same, but I thought to myself, "I'm pretty sure my Macbook would fit just fine in an intra-office envelope. And it costs $700 less than a Macbook Air." Well played Lenovo, well played.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Jon Stewart on Hillary's Declining Respect for The Voters

UPDATE: I embedded a new link. It's a bit longer than the previous one. Start at about the 1:47 mark.

P.S. No, I'm still not dead.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

My new nickname

I home teach a family, the Whites. They're nice people and my wife and I have become pretty good friends with them. How good of friends are we? Good enough friends that we feel comfortable farting in front of each other without feeling the need to blame it on our kids. Enough said.

A while back, their son Cole (pictured here in all his majesty) decided that I was the home teacher with the teeth. This is an odd distinction to make since my home teaching companion isn't missing any teeth of which I'm aware. I was fine with the name because I'd rather be known as the home teacher with teeth than the home teacher without teeth.

But "home teacher with teeth" isn't my new nickname.

This past Sunday while I was over I asked Cole what my name was. I expected one of two answers: something about teeth, or Jake's dad. (For whatever reason he has no problem remembering my son's name.) What came out of his mouth shocked us all:






Come again?


There was no mistaking it. The kid was calling me Groin.

So the whole thing was a bit odd. But what has me more worried is that the name may have stuck. My wife answered the phone, "Yes, Groin?" when I called her a few days ago, and Cole called me Groin again tonight.

Despite its anatomical references, I'm sure "Groin" isn't the worst nickname ever. So I think I'm going to have a little contest: leave word in the comments about the worst nickname you've ever heard (you must have known the person who had it). I'll pick the top three or so for everyone to vote on. The person who submitted the worst nickname gets a prize. Seriously. I'm going to mail something to the winner. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I don't think it will be offensive.

Monday, April 21, 2008

I'm not dead

Just wanted to reassure my loyal readership that I'm not dead. Just fairly pretty really busy. Sorry for not posting in a week and please don't club me over the head for it.

Oh, and to avoid some mild profanity, stop the video about four seconds before the end.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Keep your socks fresh

No, your eyes doth not deceive you. My Fruit of the Loom® socks not only stay black, and are the ultimate for fit and comfort (debatable), but the folks at The Loom have taken sock packaging to an entirely new level by providing a resealable bag. Yes, resealable. Like something your salad would come in. But without the croutons and dressing.

I'm not sure why I'd need to reseal my socks in their original packaging. To my knowledge they don't have a shelf life and don't need to remain fresh. In fact, we'd like the socks to be a little less fresh as, frankly, they reeked. Horribly. Like something that I can't name because I'm not sure what it is. All I know is that it smells bad and is probably ugly. Like this guy. Imagine the scent this little guy would put out when in heat. That's what my socks smelled like. But worse.

Anyhoo, the socks are OK. We've washed them a couple of times now and only a little stench remains. Unfortunately, it was enough for one of these little critters to find me and start trying to make more little critters with my foot. It was awkward. I'm looking forward to summer when I can stop wearing the romantic socks and sart wearing flip-flops.

Smelly animal pic from here.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

NKOTB are back!

I can hear the phone call now: "Jordan, stop! Don't cut your mullet - we're getting the band back together."

Why is this monumental news? Here's some background from their website:

... see our place in pop history. We’ve read that we `begat the boy bands” like Backstreet Boys and N’Sync.... But hey, what about New Edition? There would be no New Kids without them. And of course, the Jackson Five begat New Edition. So I guess we were really just the first white boy band.

That's right. The first ever white boy band is getting back together after fifteen years. Fifteen long, empty, meaningless years.

Image courtesy of here.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Apple sued: lied about displays in iMacs

Apple told consumers that both the 20-inch and 24-inch iMacs displayed "millions of colors at all resolutions."

Apparently that's not the case.

"While Apple describes the display of both the 24-inch and 20-inch iMacs as though they were interchangeable, the monitors in each are of radically different technology. The 20-inch iMacs feature 6-bit twisted nematic film (TN) LCD screens, the least expensive of its type," according to the lawsuit.

What?? Apple produces overpriced hardware amidst hype of it being the greatest thing to ever be produced since the Ten Commandments? I find that hard to believe. But not really.

Full story here.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

T-Mobile sues Engadget for using magenta in their logo

Seriously. No joke. See here. Apparently the higher-ups at Deutsche Telekom (T-Mobile USA's parent company in Germany) don't want Engadget to use "their" color of magenta because such usage "could lead to confusion in the marketplace."

I'm not sure how many people are confusing Engadget Mobile with T-Mobile. Are people trying to sign up for cell service with T-Mobile through Engadget Mobile? If you are, you're stupid. Almost as stupid as the people who think people are that stupid. Like the higher ups at Deutsche Telekom.

Meanwhile, Engadget Mobile has taken a page out of my father in-law's book by taking it a step further. They changed their logo today to this:

Others have taken up the cause of thumbing their noses at Das Man by trying to get as many people as possible to use the color magenta that has DT's panties in a wad. Here's my contribution to the cause:

Thanks to Veronica for the tip.

Gmail introduces "Custom Time" - send e-mail to the past

Using Google's revolutionary "e-flux capacitor", you can "Just click 'Set custom time' from the Compose view. Any email you send to the past appears in the proper chronological order in your recipient's inbox. You can opt for it to show up read or unread by selecting the appropriate option."

Very handy indeed! Now on Saturday when I remember my dad's birthday was Friday, I can send him an e-mail and using Custom Time, have it show up in his Inbox like it arrived on his birthday! I can even "mark as read" so he thinks he looked at it and forgot!

For more information on this feature, click here.

Google, what will you think of next? By the way, what's the date today?