Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Boy or girl? Vote now.

Friday is the day we go in for the ultrasound and (hopefully) find out whether we're having a boy or a girl. I've already voiced my concerns about having a girl, but here's a quick list of the benefits to each gender as I see them:

  • We'll have our bases covered - at least one of each
  • I'd absolutely melt if I had a little girl
  • Could bring balance to the testosterone that would be flowing through our household in the form of trucks, video games, dirt, etc. (This could also be a con.)
  • If my sons are anything like me, the changes of accidents and serious injury are greatly reduced if it's a girl

  • It would be awesome for Jake to have a brother
  • I can call them "my boys"
  • My wife can call the three of us "her boys"
  • Seasonally, Jake's clothes will match perfectly with what The Bun II will need and we'll save a small fortune on clothes that will only be worn maybe four or five times before they're outgrown
  • No frilly stuff
What do you think we're having? Please vote on the poll that's in the upper-right corner of the site. Also, do you see any other pros or cons to having a boy or a girl? Leave word in the comments.

Image courtesy of here.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Apparently I'm not all that helpful

I received the following email from a friend last week, which I publish here in abbreviated form and without her permission:

Dear Dave,

My family is going to do a family talent show on Christmas and we have to come up with something to do. Can you guys help us out...? Last time we took traditional Christmas songs and rapped them. It was a hit and we've been asked to try to do it again... PLEASE HELP!!!


I replied:

Dear Stacie

I think maybe you should maybe do a dramatic recreation of a scene from Schindler's List. Or maybe a live demonstration about how to pluck a chicken.

Just some thoughts.

Warmest wishes,


Stacie replied:

I'm going to email your wife for help now.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Advice on being a Secret Santa

If at all possible, avoid routes to the front porch that are covered in crunchy snow and ice. Also, the fewer people making the trek to the porch, the better - I recommend less than three. Try to avoid paths to the door that may be more complicated than necessary. For example, if there is a 30 foot wooden ramp with a 90 degree turn in it that you must go up before even getting to the porch, consider aborting the mission and giving the toys to the neighbors. Or keep them for yourself.

Finally, if you've been volunteered by your commrades to be the one to stay and ring the bell (similar to being the wounded guy in a movie who stays behind to be eaten by the monster in the hopes it will buy his friends enough time to escape), and the porch light turns on before you get a chance to ring the bell, feel free to make as much noise as you want as you book it out of there as fast as you can. It doesn't matter if they hear you; In a matter of seconds they're going to open the door, see the presents, and know someone was there, which is the whole point anyway, right?

Image courtesy of here.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Three things that are giving my friend Brett a headache

My friend Brett recently vented about a few things and I happen to agree with many of his sentiments. He said I could repost it here, so I have. Enjoy, and please leave your thoughts in the comments afterward.

The Next Notebook Trend: Cellphone-Like Contract Deals
Yeah, here’s a great idea- lock people into stupid notebook contracts like cell phone companies do so that they end up paying 3 or 4 times what the product is actually worth. The only thing stupider: the people who would actually fall for something like this. No offense, iPhone users, it’s nearly unavoidable in your case.

15% Fat Tax
With “the troubled economy,” state budgets are coming up short. Their solution? Tax the people. Here’s what somebody isn’t understanding: People were not made to support government, rather, government was made to support the people. Remember that whole “by the people, for the people” line?

Who is the biggest, most bloated, grotesquely obese entity on Earth? The U.S. Government. And they want to tax us for being fat?

Instead of penalizing the people because of a desire they have for a certain type of food, government should be cutting ITSELF down to make up for the hard times, not cutting the people down to make up for their own glutenous, fatty, short-sighted spending habits. The government should be doing what American families are doing to weather the hard times—cutting back, re-evaluating programs, canceling cable, re-budgeting and adjusting appetites that sometimes get out-of-hand when times are too good to be true.

How any elected representative can, in good conscience, even throw this idea around in his head for more than 3 seconds is completely beyond me. And the one thing stupider:

North Carolina’s idea of a Mileage Tax
Are elected officials going completely insane? Charging you for every mile you drive? So they want you to pay taxes out of the income you worked for to build the roads, tax you again to buy the car, tax you again every year to own the car, tax you again to buy the gas, and then on top of all that, TAX YOU AGAIN WHEN YOU ACTUALLY DRIVE THE CAR?!

I’m sorry, but when a government has to insert itself to take money from the people at every single exchange and interaction—and it still can’t support itself, it is time for that government to go. And I’m not kidding. I’m blowing a gasket. That’s WITHOUT mentioning that they propose to track the mileage by installing a GPS unit so that they know where, when, and how far you’ve gone? This is like a bad dream.

How long can the American people support what has become an un-manageable, irresponsible, corrupt government who, instead of solving problems, creates them at every turn? I have a headache.

Originally posted here.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Hot girls rule the world

 "I realize you may have had some concerns before as to whether I should be given my way, but please, let me set your mind at ease about all that: I'm attractive. Matter resolved."- The Onion Editorial Page
In the ridiculously overplayed song, Are You Gonna Be My Girl, Jet states the immortal words, "You don't need money when you look like that, do you honey?"

Hot girls rule the world.

Years ago Rob, Ryan and I declared this to be true, and it still is today. Hot girls get whatever they want. Think about it. How many hot girls do you know who don't get whatever they want? Exactly.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a diaper to change and dishes to do.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Where IS Carmen Sandiego?

Did anyone ever find out?
 Image courtesy of here.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

FINALLY! A note synchronization app for the iPhone: Note*spark

I've griped about this a number of times to just about anyone who would listen: "Why the #!$& can the iPhone locate my position using a combination of wifi hotspots, cell phone tower triangulation and global positioning satellites, but it can't get notes from my phone to my computer??!"

This morning I checked my RSS feed that shows me each and every iPhone app that's been approved for the App Store and, amidst the dross of apps like iFart and iLuvBling...there it was. Note*spark. Notes. Over the air synchronization. Doesn't require a constant data connection. Web-based app for desktop integration. No Comic Sans font.

Upon reading the description, I couldn't contain myself: "MY DAY HAS COME!" I shouted in my best faux-Sean Conner accent. Two bucks? Not a problem. I'm sure my wife would gladly give me fifty dollars if I'd just shut up about the lack of notes synchronization on my phone. So I signed up for a free account online and downloaded the app and it works perfectly.

Eventually, I'm sure Apple will create to-do and notes syncing with Mail. However,  you'll probably need a MobileMe account to do so ($99/year) and I'm guessing it won't sync online - just to your Mail app. Remember The Milk and Note*spark work perfectly now.

Enough. Go download it and enjoy seamless notes synchronization. Click here to download the app (iTunes link).

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Official Rules of Wallball

In case you were wondering, here are the official rules of Wallball, courtesy of FOUND Magazine.

Reading this lead to a lenghty discussion between my wife and I about the very nature of Wallball because we had very different definitions.

I grew up with Wallball being a game played with a rubber ball, similar to those used in playground games like Four Square. Two people played at a time and tried to get the other person "out" by either performing a shot werf's opponent couldn't return, or causing werf's opponent to make a mistake.

Mistakes included Pockets (ball hit exactly where the wall and the sidewalk meet), Rainbows (ball didn't bounce between when it was hit and when it reaches the wall), and Carries (similar to volleyball: you can't carry the ball, it has to be a solid hit).

My wife's version involved a tennis ball and a large group of people playing simultaneously. I don't remember the rest of what she said because 1. it's hard to describe some games if you aren't watching someone play them and 2. the details are always a bit foggy 20 years later.

At this point I must boast a bit and let you all know that in second grade I went through the entire line of kids waiting before I got out. That was probably the greatest day of my life.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Google Reader redesign

Google Reader got a major UI tweak this afternoon. Boo-ya. The look feels a lot like Google Docs. It makes me wonder when Gmail is going to follow suit. Then again, they did just announce a slew of new themes.
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