Saturday, May 27, 2006

A concern

I have a concern about my toes. And that is, I feel that my four "non-big toes" on each foot are soon going to grow togther to form one giant toe, leaving me with only two toes per foot.

As you can see from this blurry photo, there is a huge space between my big toe and the next four toes. In addition, the next four toes have become curved and contoured to one another. It's only a matter of time before they fuse together and become one.

Then I would look like a ninja turtle.

Of course, if I had biceps like Michelangelo here, I'd be fine with only having four toes.

I'd like to take an objective look at the idea of my toes growing togther in such a manner. Perhaps I could be experiencing the next stage of human evolution. Perhaps I am even cooler than the Ninja Turtles in that I am a real-life X-Man.

Granted, my only mutant power would be having four toes. But that's really quite remarkable when you realize that's four toes TOTAL, not per foot. I know, I know... it isn't as amazing as, say, being able to control the weather or disappear and reappear at will. And another thing I have going against me is that I'm not blue or green. I'm just kind of a pasty white. I have a couple things to say about that:

1. Wolverene has fair skin too and
2. When the second ice age comes about (after the whole global warming thing has run its course) I'm going to be the one who survives, not the Turtles because it's much easier to evade predators in the snow if you're not green. (Plus they're turtles, which are cold blooded, which means they'd die anyway.)

So there you have it! I am the next stage in human evoution! Leave me a comment if you'd like me to send you a signed 8x10 glossy of my toes. In the meantime, I'm heading to the gym to see if I can't beef up these biceps of mine.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


Last week I got to take part in my first TV shoot for a campaign I wrote for Voter Outreach.

While it is fun to be out of the office for a bit, filming is, as a general statement, fairly boring. There's a lot of standing around. Then something happens. Then you stand some more.

That being said, I met a lot of cool people throughout the process, including the guys who invented the little keychain holder for your chapstick. Ben from Fueld Films was great to work with and, thus far, the spots look great.

It's weird to think that something I thought of (with help, of course) is being created professionally. It's a nervous, exciting, pit-of-your-stomach feeling. Regardless, I couldn't be happier to be working on it and I'm anxious to see how it turns out.

Doggie Bag

Perhaps the best invention in the world. Ever.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Macbook

It arrived. Actually, it arrived on Tuesday and I just haven't had time to write about my lustful desires until now.

The Macbook (yes, I believe I was the first one to publicly predict it would be called that) :) is the newest focus of my ever-changing technological covetousness. It is most definitely drool-worthy with its dual-core goodness, glossy display and unique, yet very enjoyable keyboard. Essentially, it's the perfect computer for a writer such as myself. I am a bit disappointed that it 1. doesn't have a dedicated graphics card and 2. comes with two 256 MB sticks from which to share with the integrated graphics. C'mon Apple! At least have the decency to give us one 512 stick so we can only have to buy one stick to make it an even gig!

Note to anyone reading this: never by RAM from Apple. They charge double what you can get it for elsewhere.

Regardless, I want to save up to by this (black?) beauty. Assuming I got it configured the way I wanted out of the box, it would run me a cool $1,848 plus tax. After my handy-dandy discount it'll come out to the bargain-basement price of $1,570.

One can dream...

Conserving gas

With gas prices at an all-time high, I've decided to proactively try to conserve fuel by changing my driving habits. Not that I've ever been the tire-screetcching, red-lining kind of guy (although that's because I don't drive a BMW - yet), I figured I could tone it down a bit.

After a couple weeks of accelerating slower, shifting sooner and driving (closer to) the speed limit I found that I averaged about 30 mpg. Not too shabby. Whilest doing so, I also noticed another side effect: less stress.

Consciously driving slower has made me a much more patient and easy-going driver. I don't experience road rage (or my version of it) at all when I'm going easy on the gas. It makes for much more pleasant commute.

So there's one more reason to conserve gas.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

"Then a miracle occurs" - it may have already

A while back I mentioned how hydrogen cars would probably be the best economically and environmentally, but that the technology was so far off, if it was ever developed, that in the meantime there was no real point in even daydreaming about it. UNTIL NOW!

Hehehe...check out this video from Fox News.

This man figured out a way to convert H20 into HH0 using electricity and has modded his '94 Escort with the technology. What kind of mileage does he get? 100 miles/4 oz. of water.

So maybe hydrogen powered cars aren't as far off as we thought.

Saturday, May 13, 2006


It's Saturday. And what a great day of the week Saturday is. Especially when I don't waste most of it sleeping in and getting a slow start in the morning.

I got up early to go help clean the church, which actually consisted of setting up chairs. No worries, and it got me out of bed. Since then I've helped clean the apartment and have been wading through e-mail. And it's not even 11:00 yet.

The windows are open and a nice spring breeze is blowing into the apartment. Frank Sinatra is playing quietly in the background, Amy is on the Love Sac writing in her journal. No pressing worries at the moment. It just feels...yeah... life is good.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Post-it notes

We pulled a prank on a guy in our office (Hugh). Here's a great time-lapse photography clip Paul put together.

Post-it note prank.

I love you all very, very much.

Macbook Release Not So Imminent

It appears Stevie J. pulled a fast one over on everybody. No Macbook announcement (or any announcement for that matter) last Tuesday. So the newest word on the street is, and makes logical sense, that Apple will be making new product accouncements at the grand opening of their new 5th Avenue store in New York. Mr. Jobs (doesn't that kind of sound like a Bond villian?) personally designed the huge glass cube that will sit over the entrance of the underground mecca. Rumor has it that it cost about $9M. Hey, if ya got it...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I've been shot

Paul shot me with his pellet gun in the back of the leg.

I'm not gonna lie. It hurt. It caused me to yell out in surprise, and I'm sure more than a few people around the office thought I was going to cuss, mainly because my initial scream consisted of, "Son of a!"

Naturally, this means I will be purchasing a pellet gun of my own (preferably fully automatic). 


Rob insisted that I write something funny today. While stress from work (curse you FDA! And while we're at it, curse a couple of other clients too), a death in the family, illness and general exhaustion have limited not only my free time to write posts, but humorous ones seem to have been completely beyond me.

So, to appease the masses (Rob, you have put on a little weight) I declare this:

Ryan looks funny.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Macbook Release Imminent

Check out this bad boy. Oh's a Macbook, and it's coming soon. Rumor has it that Apple Retail stores have recieved shipments of window displays labeled, "Do not open until May 9th."

It's a good thing I've got some extra cash coming in right now. Boo-ya!

The iPod is the remote

Granted, the little IR Apple remote is small and fun and magnetic. But instead of docking your ipod in a speaker system and then using said remote, why not use Apple's existing wireless speaker system, give the iPod wireless connectivity to those speakers, and have the iPod itself be the remote? It's not as if carrying around an nano or 5G ipod is some laborious task. You would have all your info with you at all times, and not have to get up, walk to the dock, pick your playlist or album and then go sit back down again (which defeats the whole purpose of the remote in the first place).

So you buy speakers for numerous rooms in your home. As you walk through your home, carrying your iPod with you, it automatically syncs wit the nearest speakers, so the music follows you. When you leave a room (are out of range of the bluetooth connection) the music (obviously) stops.

So that's my prediction. The iPod will go wireless, and when it does the need for that sexy little remote and all those docking speaker setups will be obsolete. They'll have to figure out a way to get the bluetooth audio quality up to par, but the nice thing is that, I believe, the wireless airport speakers plug directly into the wall, eliminating the need to recharge them as you would a bluetooth headset and the iPod already has, what, a 10-12 hour battery life? Even if you cut that in half due to a constant bluetooth connection that still gives you at least five hours of strolling around the house that you can do before you have to recharge.