Saturday, May 27, 2006

A concern

I have a concern about my toes. And that is, I feel that my four "non-big toes" on each foot are soon going to grow togther to form one giant toe, leaving me with only two toes per foot.

As you can see from this blurry photo, there is a huge space between my big toe and the next four toes. In addition, the next four toes have become curved and contoured to one another. It's only a matter of time before they fuse together and become one.

Then I would look like a ninja turtle.

Of course, if I had biceps like Michelangelo here, I'd be fine with only having four toes.

I'd like to take an objective look at the idea of my toes growing togther in such a manner. Perhaps I could be experiencing the next stage of human evolution. Perhaps I am even cooler than the Ninja Turtles in that I am a real-life X-Man.

Granted, my only mutant power would be having four toes. But that's really quite remarkable when you realize that's four toes TOTAL, not per foot. I know, I know... it isn't as amazing as, say, being able to control the weather or disappear and reappear at will. And another thing I have going against me is that I'm not blue or green. I'm just kind of a pasty white. I have a couple things to say about that:

1. Wolverene has fair skin too and
2. When the second ice age comes about (after the whole global warming thing has run its course) I'm going to be the one who survives, not the Turtles because it's much easier to evade predators in the snow if you're not green. (Plus they're turtles, which are cold blooded, which means they'd die anyway.)

So there you have it! I am the next stage in human evoution! Leave me a comment if you'd like me to send you a signed 8x10 glossy of my toes. In the meantime, I'm heading to the gym to see if I can't beef up these biceps of mine.