Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Proper hygeine

I am about to have a son. I understand little boys are dirty and messy and like playing with snakes, lizards, bugs, et. al. I certainly did. However, I cannot imagine letting my kid (still nameless) get to the point where he has insects living in his head.

Or, as this story illustrates, arachnids.

Yes, this kid had not one, but two spiders living in his ears. Doctors suspect they had moved in one night and stayed because the plentiful supply of ear wax they were eating.

He went into the doctor after complaining of an earache and hearing a "tapping" sound, like Rice Krispies, which turned out to be the spiders walking on his eardrums.

I'm not sure which is more frightening: spiders walking on your eardrums or the term "mucus plug".

The doctor flushed his ear and the the first spider came out, dead. The second spider came out alive and well. The kid, seen above, got to keep both as a souvenir. As if it's something to be proud of.

Wipe that grin off your face, kid. You're disgusting.

This story serves one purpose well: as I think about stories parents tell their kids ("Don't sit too close to the TV or your eyeballs will melt"), this is gonna make a great one.