Saturday, May 10, 2008

Liveblogging my TRAX ride

This is my experience riding the train home last night. I wrote most of it as the events were happening, so it's a little choppy. Enjoy.

You gotta be kidding me. I don't leave work until almost 7:00 on a Friday. To make things worse, most people are walking to the Jazz game. Without knowing it, they're rubbing it in my face: "Ha! You're just getting off work? We've already been home, had dinner and come back and are now going to an NBA playoff game. Sucker."

I board the train. Some woman/girl/chick is yelling into her Bluetooth headset. I believe she's talking to her mother. "If I had, like, fifty bucks, I would have had Amber run down here." Something about frozen coffee. I'm not the only one who's annoyed. People keep glaring back at her. Of course, she could move to the back of the train where there aren't any other passengers. No. That would be considerate.

"When was the last time I was out late? Besides that night with Jodie, I haven't been out late since Charles was in my life."

I could list a few reasons why Charles may have left.

As I consider whether or not I should inform her (in an equally loud voice) that I'm blogging her conversation, the unbelievable happens: Two middle-aged women wearing "Hillary Clinton" stickers and carrying a Hillary Clinton yard sign get on the train. They begin talking to the man next to me:

"Are you a republican?"

Oh no. #$&% no. They're going to start a political conversation about Hillary. I check under my seat for a revolver, lead pipe, candlestick - something from Clue that I can use to end my misery. Maybe I can use the rope and hang myself on the bar with the little hand lassos. Nothing. The brilliant Hillary supporters don't sit down before the train starts moving and get thrown back a couple of steps. I take some smug satisfaction in this.

One of them sits down across from me. I wonder if I should engage her in conversation. I'm extremely curious as to whether or not she really thinks Hillary still has a shot, which is to say I'm wondering if she's delusional.

Charles' Ex is now off the phone.

Wait. She's back on the phone. She's going to get off at 4500 South. Great. That's after my stop.

Now MY phone rings. It's my sister in-law. I answer, and in a voice louder than I should have used, "I'M ON THE TRAIN. SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE." I hang up.

The Talker gets up and walks past me! I think she may be getting off! No such luck. She stays standing directly behind my seat. "Let's stay on the phone until we find each other." Yeah, that's a brilliant idea. I exchange a knowing look with the Hillary Clinton supporter. Unspoken words were exchanged: this girl is a moron.

Yes, I had a bit of a moment with Ms. Hillary Clinton supporter.

I continue writing this. "Oh yeah! I absolutely love riding TRAX." Ms. Clinton supporter and I look at each other again and this time we start laughing. Out loud. I look around the train. Some people are looking back at me. Are they amused? Are they wondering what I'm laughing at? I think they're in on the joke as one guy has actually taken OFF his headphones to pay attention to the situation.

My stop snuck up on me. Unprepared, I quickly close the laptop and gather my things. As I stand to leave with my armful of stuff, under her breath Ms. Clinton Supporter says, "Lucky you." I grin at her. It turns out Charles' Ex was exiting the train as well, so there was nothing left to say. As I exited the train I thought perhaps I should have told Ms. Clinton Supporter to check for a full recap of tonight's events, but considering how die-hard a (soon to be disappointed) supporter she was, I don't think she would have appreciated my aforementioned comments.

What started out as a potentially depressing train ride turned out to be quite entertaining and humorous...and the entertainment and humor came from the most unlikely places.