URGENT: Dream come true or hellish nightmare?
The assimilation has begun. Starting April 17, 2010 our frozen, furry adversaries to the north are selecting people at random and will make them Canadian citizens - even if they don't live in Canadia. Seriously. I'm not joking. I would never joke about something like this:
Does this scare the $#%! out of anyone else?
Sure, they dress it all up as if we're going to be happy about it, dancing around our bedrooms while hockey players and mounties make sure we drink ourselves into a maple syrup-induced stupor. Pure propaganda. Do you know who else used such propaganda to make people feel good about trying to take over the world while he trimmed his little, square mustache and greasy comb-over? Exactly.
Sadly, my conspiracy "theory" was right. I always thought the idea of hoarding guns and ammo in a fortified basement-turned-bunker was for nut jobs and wackos but you'd better believe I'm hitting West Valley tonight and not coming home until I have a trunkload of questionably-legal automatic firearms. With scopes.
How long until France does something similar?
Perhaps I'm overreacting. Maybe they won't try to take us by force (at first). In which case I actually hope they pick me and make a big deal about it and bring a bunch of news crews and cameras and reporters to my house because it would be one of the only times I'm my life where I would justify the blatant use of profanity and respond with, "#@$@#$$%^&*&$#@ no!"
What do you think? Am I overreacting or do you want me to save you room in our basement-bunker? Leave word in the comments and be quick about it - who knows how long it will be before they shut sites like this down.
VIVA LA RESISTANCE!
6 comments:
I personally would be struck joy dancing around my bedroom if I was suddenly a Canadian citizen.
And in honor of this post I will share my favorite Canadian themed song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QgSuVJ7Jpg
It actually already happened. It was 2009. I for one am disappointed that I won't be waking up to cookies on my nightstand for the rest of my life. That's what I married a Canadian for.
well crap... i thought i just had an canadan ex-uncle, but now i've got 3 canadan cousins. ... i thought things were bad enough in this country, but now i'm related by blood to canadans. time to go hang myself...
regarding the video, i highly doubt george lopez qualified under the change in the law, but i guess having a celebrity spokesman helps.
Huh. Interesting.
Guess my kids won't be Canadian unless I move to Canadia. But I didn't think they would have been anyway. But now I know they can't.
Also, dual citizenship is awesome, so I don't know why you're concerned...
Whoa. Hold your horses. First, I would suggest you read the terms of the new law at: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/citizenship/rules.asp.
It clearly states that people who gained citizenship and then lost it will regain citizenship (unless it was gained by fraud or was renounced, etc.). Further, it restates that children born abroad and born to a Canadian citizen - who was either born in Canada or was a naturalized citizen - will automatically become a Canadian.
This is, by no means, "selecting people at random" to make them Canadian citizens, as you stated. It does grant citizenship to some people who have never lived in Canada, but in fact, it is actually granting such to fewer people than before. According to the aforementioned website, prior to April 17, 2009, "it was possible for Canadians to pass on their citizenship to endless generations born outside Canada." Now, "the new law limits — with a few exceptions — citizenship by descent to one generation born outside Canada."
Let me continue by enlightening you with a very similar law under the US government:
http://travel.state.gov/law/info/overseas/overseas_703.html.
Just like Canada, the US has been granting citizenship to children living abroad but born to a US citizen - but just as Canada was prior to April 17, they can pass on their citizenship to endless generations born outside the US. Sounds like Canada is tightening up their citizenship laws, not the other way around.
To answer another of your questions, of course one can renounce their Canadian citizenship if they don't want it: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/information/faq/citizenship/cit-rules-faq10.asp.
So sorry Dave, unless one of your parents was either born in Canada or became a naturalized citizen, they won't "pick you." And yes, I think you did overreact.
Thanks for the comments.
Kevin - Potato, Pat-ah-to. I'm buying a gun.
P.S. The captcha for this was "consterd" which is a funny word.
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