Wednesday, July 01, 2009

URGENT: Dream come true or hellish nightmare?

The assimilation has begun. Starting April 17, 2010 our frozen, furry adversaries to the north are selecting people at random and will make them Canadian citizens - even if they don't live in Canadia. Seriously. I'm not joking. I would never joke about something like this:

Does this scare the $#%! out of anyone else?

Sure, they dress it all up as if we're going to be happy about it, dancing around our bedrooms while hockey players and mounties make sure we drink ourselves into a maple syrup-induced stupor. Pure propaganda. Do you know who else used such propaganda to make people feel good about trying to take over the world while he trimmed his little, square mustache and greasy comb-over? Exactly.

Sadly, my conspiracy "theory" was right. I always thought the idea of hoarding guns and ammo in a fortified basement-turned-bunker was for nut jobs and wackos but you'd better believe I'm hitting West Valley tonight and not coming home until I have a trunkload of questionably-legal automatic firearms. With scopes.

How long until France does something similar?

Perhaps I'm overreacting. Maybe they won't try to take us by force (at first). In which case I actually hope they pick me and make a big deal about it and bring a bunch of news crews and cameras and reporters to my house because it would be one of the only times I'm my life where I would justify the blatant use of profanity and respond with, "#@$@#$$%^&*&$#@ no!"

What do you think? Am I overreacting or do you want me to save you room in our basement-bunker? Leave word in the comments and be quick about it - who knows how long it will be before they shut sites like this down.