Friday, September 22, 2006

Client lunch

Yesterday I was coerced into going to lunch with a client. There were a number of reasons I didn't want to go, but none of them ended up being the reason I'm writing this now.

I learned about our client, his anatomy and why he only has two kids. Allow me to elaborate with some of the highlights.

Honestly, I was only half-tuned into the conversation at hand. I was rather enjoying my lobster fettuccini when I overheard the client say, "I've got slow swimmers." This caused me to stifle a snort which almost sent a noodle out my nose. We looked at him in a certain state of shock. Had he just said what we thought he said? While eating?

He had. But it didn't stop there.

"Well, you see, I had the little snip-snip," he said, while making a scissor motion with his fingers. "Later I got everything reconnected and we had our second child." (Suppressed gag reflex.)

A minute or two later...

"My wife's patriarchal blessing says she will have many children while on the earth. But I have slow swimmers, so obviously that's a lie."

Pardon? Maybe his choice to, er, "hang loose" affected that particular promise.

With this next statement, keep in mind that the client has a U.S. work visa.

"We've never used protection in six years of marriage and only have two kids. So I don't think we'll have more. Unless we have one so I can get citizenship faster."

I can think of a couple things wrong with that statement.

That's about all the good stuff. So, let's review: I now know the history of his plumbing, he's never used birth control and he's firing blanks! All while I'm trying to eat! Lucky me!