Tinker.com completely misses the point

Advertising Age recently posted a a quick article and video introducing Glam Media's Tinker, a tool for managing what is being said about your brand on Twitter. (Sadly, Ad Age is a little behind the times and doesn't allow their videos to be embedded so you'll have to click the link - the video is only three minutes long).

The idea behind Tinker is that you can 1. follow events instead of people and 2. aggregate everything being said about your brand on Twitter and display it on your company's site 3. after it passes through some powerful filters.

First of all, I like the idea of following events instead of people. Cool. But isn't that as simple as using hashtags?

Second, I already know how to embed a Twitter stream onto my blog. Thanks though.

Third, Tinker is plugging its filters as a way to filter out profanity (good) and censor content (bad). Here's how Glam Media's Joe Lagani explained it at the ANA's Brand Innovation Conference last week (chopped up quite a bit in order to be concise):

"Tinker allows for brand-safe marketing tools... There are all kinds of filtering. You can filter out competitive brands... 

"You have to ask yourself now, 'If this were your brand and you were able to assemble this ongoing positive conversation about your brand... how could you get that in front of your consumer?' This is the reason we developed Tinker."

Yep. Sounds like it was developed by marketers.

And that's where Tinker drops the ball: The whole concept of filtering out criticisms about your brand and only showing people an edited version of what's being said is deceptive at best and clearly misses the point of social media. It's trying to control the conversation instead of participate in it.

Sadly, I can see a lot of companies jumping on this, thinking it's their savior from the evil masses that are their customers.

Thoughts? Dissenting opinions? Sound off in the comments.

Fake intimacy

Courtesy of here, via here.

The Quote Board

For whatever reason I couldn't link to the Quote Board so I decided to republish it here. There's quite a bit of new stuff so if you haven't checked it lately take a moment to peruse the hilarity.

"Ooo! Bring me back a cookie! They're cheaper if you buy more." - Amy

"Jesus was a fisherman. What do you think it smelled like when he taught?" - Doug

Amy asks me, in front of her parents and brother while we're playing cards, "What's that game we like to play? Dominatrix?"

Me impersonating Doug's response to the recall notice on Brad's car:
"Something about a fire under the hood, blah, blah, blah, final notice, yadda, yadda, yadda."

Doug: "Do you know what a rhetorical question is?"
Me: "Did you want me to answer that?"  

"I know I may not look it, but I have a dreidel." - Alysia's friend.

"Do you know how much money we could make if we were Italian and in the mob?" - Brad

"Why does it make our husbands uncomfortable when we flirt?" - RaeLynn

"Can we clone you and kill the others?" - Gary

"I can't relate. I'd never do anything that stupid." - Teri

"Careful Jake - you're still soft on top." - David

"If I were a dinosaur I'd eat that tree." - Heidi

"Next time I get a prostate exam I'm going to a taller doctor." - Doug

"Three in a row? Dang. Looks like someone else needs to start talking." - Amy

"I'd be really good at yoga if I didn't have any arms or legs." - Amy

"That was a brilliant use of profanity!" - Amy

"Thanks to you and your amazing sperm." - Amy

Heidi: I think my arms are getting fat.
Amy: You know, I think I'd be OK if I didn't have any girls.

"It's a good thing she's wearing pants." - Becky

"If I was really, really tall I'd find a really, really tall girl to breed with." - Brad

Amy - "Apparently I'm not as smart as I think I am."
Me - "That's OK. I couldn't figure out how to set up my Far Side calendar."

RaeLynn - "What if you go metro in the next couple of years?"
Scott - "I can't because I'm fat."

"If you want to be in my will, you'd better put me on your quote board you little punk." - My Father In-Law

"Dear, the ceiling fan is the best parent in the world." - David

"I don't get it. How can people not believe in global warming? It's so hot!" - Melinda

"Dear, we need a little person to make cookies." - Amy

"Can I just say that high heels can really be annoying?" - Ryan

"Seriously. I poke myself in the eye on a daily basis." - Melinda

"Nobody can make you laugh but yourself." - Heidi

"Hopefully that's why my check engine light has been on for so long." - Curtis

"No one likes a leper." - Amy

Matt: Do you know where, "Wax on, wax off" comes from?
Whittney: Seinfeld?

"You're never too old to go to space camp dude." - Dave, Stranger Than Fiction

"I raise mini-cattle under my bed." - Amy, sort of

"Sometimes I think I interact with the TV more than I'm supposed to." - Amy

"Wait. There aren't 71 states." - Hunter

"Did that bird miss a connecting flight South or what?" - Amy

"You can be wise and happy or stupid and miserable. The choice is yours." - President Hinckley, Dec. 31, 2006

"I can't imagine what it would be like to have your government overthrown...is there anything good on TV tonight?" - Amy

"If you were a super model, I wouldn't love you less, just in a different way than I do now." - Jeremy O., to me.

"I don't hang out with you anymore and look how cool I am!" - Rob

"David, you need to grow your monkeys." - Whittney

"I'm a genius too! Wait. I think I just spit a bran flake." - Amy

"Need I remind you it powered a time machine?" - Amy

"Dear, how come we never get to watch Desperate Housewives when the kids are around?" - Doug

"I'm so hot, I'll never have to pay for anything ever! Look at me spin! Look at me twirl! " - Ryan, referencing the Jazz cheerleaders

"Well, obviously my underwear is unraveling." - Doug

"I hate getting out of the car. It's like going to the bathroom." - Amy

Heidi: "Grandma, are you a racist?"
Grandma: "No. I'm a bigot."

"Tastes just like real french toast!" - David

"I'm writing 'eat me' on pork" - Amy

"Girls rule! We have homemaking skills AND physical endurance skills" - Heidi

"He may be shallow, but he dates hot chicks" - David about Brad

"Dang! No wonder people like having money." - Amy

"Dad, I don't think you've made the peacock noises since we left Colorado" - Amy

"Is she going to wear a hair net, or am I going to have to worry about that all night?" - Doug

"The conduit for all knowledge in the universe is located in our apartment. Specifically, the shower." - Rob

"Adam had it easy. Eve HAD to love him!" - Josh

"If the social life of the world would be best benefited by my hooking up with an ugly girl, then I'm sorry - it's not happening." - Ryan

"Woo-hoo! I have dents in my head!" - Neil

"Hello, is this whore removal?" - Dave

"My brain is numb. There's been cheese on it all night." - Ryan

"I used to be a body builder..." - Dave

"Hey! Don't make fun of the dumb kid." - Alysia

"I've been told my hair feels like rabbit fur." - Neil

"I hate not eating out. 'Cause, well, first of all it sucks..." - Ryan

Dave: "What's a lime-o?"
Rob: "That would be 'limo' Dave."

"Ya know, some people just look better from far away." - Definitely Ryan

"Women don't want a knight, they want the whole dang Round Table!" - Rob

Eden: "You know, in Russian, 'Rob' means 'slave'".
Ryan: "Well, in English 'Rob' means 'to steal'".

"Sometimes I almost feel guilty for BS-ing my homework. Then I think, 'Wait, no I don't.'" -Dave

"Is she the tall girl with the loud mouth?" - Ryan

"You're a very positive person, but I think you're an idiot." - Rob

"Nothing hurts more than seeing two beautiful girls going into a bridal store." - Dave

Dave: "I always buy biscuits, but never make them."
Rob: "Then don't get any."
Dave: "But I might this time."
Rob: "The triumph of hope over experience."

"You're not hopeless Dave, all you need is a good woman." - Rob

"If there were no girls, we'd never be tempted. It'd be like scout camp." - Josh

"Well, that's a bridge under troubled waters. Wait..." - Rob

"Hyrum's wife died, and HE got married like a week later." - Ryan

"I'm just the ultimate compliment." - Ryan

Dave: "With hair like this, it's amazing that I don't have a girlfriend."
Josh: "Maybe it's your personality."

I killed a bunny tonight

I was on the way back from Grandma's tonight when I hit a jack rabbit on I-80. I tried to swerve a bit to give it a chance but soon realized the little fella was doomed.

I say swerved a bit because I was going 75 mph.

Remember back when your parents or church leaders told you to decide right then and there how you were going to handle certain situations if they came up. For example, decide right now that you aren't going to ever drink alcohol and if you're feeling pressured to do so, how are you going to respond? It's good to have your mind already made up about things to which you're committed.

This situation was  a lot like that. A long time ago I decided that if it came down to me hitting an animal in the road, or me swerving to try and miss it at the risk of getting in an accident and injuring my family, the animal was going to get it.

He got it. Sorry bunny.

Perhaps if there had been a sign like the one above posted near the road this tragedy wouldn't have taken place. I say we blame the government.

Image courtesy of here.

Bourne v. Bond

Someone on Twitter posed the question:

If Jason Bourne and James Bond (as played by Daniel Craig = no gadgets) were to get in a fight, who would win?

There's a poll in the upper right corner of the site. Vote there and then tell me why you voted that way in the comments.

Image courtesy of here.

Hulu, you're doing it wrong

Dear Alec, Eliza, Seth, Dennis and everyone else at Hulu,

Hulu, you're now the third most popular video site on the Internet and for that I congratulate you. I have to admit that when I heard you were coming I had my doubts - a video site built by the networks? Ha! It would suck, to be certain. I was wrong. I'm sorry.

That being said, I think you haven't quite reached your potential.

Let me begin with the assumption that TV networks want us to watch their shows. They do this so they can sell advertising to put in their shows. The more people that watch, the more the networks can charge businesses to advertise.

So the networks want as many people to watch their shows as possible. Then why, Hulu, are only the last five episodes of current TV shows posted? As was recently the case with Chuck, I wanted everyone to start watching it so it wouldn't be canceled. "It's on Hulu," I'd say. But that wasn't enough.

Very few people are going to jump into a series half way through a season, let alone tune in to watch the season finale of a show they've never seen before. Why watch the most recent five episodes if you don't know what's happened in the previous 15 that lead to that point?

You need to have the entire season posted for, well, the entire season.

Sure, you can watch any episode of the Cosby Show or Night Court and be fine. You know, cheesy TV with a laugh track. Everything else needs background and context. And if it's available, more people will start watching your shows part way through the season and catch up.

Heck, leave them up for the summer when nothing else is on and maybe you'll recruit new fans for the new season in the Fall. Worried about cannibalizing DVD sales? Pull the season from Hulu as soon as the DVDs are out.

So there you have it Hulu. There's nothing to lose by posting entire seasons and quite  bit to gain. So, yeah. Get on that, will you?

P.S. "An evil plot to take over the world. Enjoy." - One of the best taglines I've heard in a while.

Note: I do realize it's probably the networks who are the ones who are holding back, but Hulu's the frontman for everything so I directed my comments at them.

Minute Maid commercial

This wouldn't be nearly as funny without the last thing the guy says.

A family update

Someone pointed out that I haven't given a family update on here recently. Time to remedy that.

We have about, oh, three weeks before our little girl makes her grand appearance. We're still leaning toward Sara(h) but haven't decided on the "h" or a middle name. Suggestions are still welcome.

Work is good, although a bit of a downer: Yesterday one of my friends got laid off and everyone took a pay cut. While that certainly sucks, I'm grateful to still have a job and insurance - especially with the baby coming later this month.

Yeah. I think that's about it. Not much to report - just plugging away. Life is good.

(If you'd like me to be more specific about something, leave word in the comments.)